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Babysitting for free for working neighbour

(162 Posts)
Grump1 Wed 20-Dec-17 01:31:11

My neighbour works shifts and can usually her OH can cover weekends - but not always so I get asked to babysit always in their house. My DH didn't mind until recently when I was away for eight hours and got no thank you text (and certainly no small treat handed in). The following weekend the same but while I thought both adults were working in fact neighbour's OH was on a very long night out with his friends. I had been led to believe he was at work. Does it matter? My DH thinks I should expect them to pay as it allows them to take the better paid weekend shifts. How do I convey this to them after helping out for free for the last four years or so. The children are getting older and more of a handful. My own are now independent and I was a STAHM so got the t-shirt. Also sounds petty but when I babysat for friends alway got left treat for supper and thanked next day but babysitting in return. This is one way. Childminders and nurseries don't work for people on weekend and night shift. What do others do?

cloudchasing Wed 20-Dec-17 01:33:23

Tell you what I'd do. Tell them to fuck off.

AnneLovesGilbert Wed 20-Dec-17 01:37:06

They’re completely taking the piss. If you don’t work outside the home it’s to enjoy YOUR OWN life, not to enable someone else’s.

Do you want to keep doing it? I think you’d be mad to but it’s not my life. If you don’t then stop.

Send a text in the morning saying you won’t be babysitting any longer. Don’t apologise. Don’t make excuses. Don’t offer to step in if they have an emergency. Just “hi xxx, I won’t be babysitting any longer. Hope you have a nice Christmas”. Then turn your phone off and don’t answer the door because they treat you like a doormat and don’t like being told no.

It’s your life, they need paid for childcare and you need your days back.

Cavender Wed 20-Dec-17 01:38:07

I would not be babysitting for 8 hours for free for anyone other than perhaps family or my best friend - even then I’d expect delightful children and copious thanks and nice Christmas presents.

Taken for granted and badly behaved children - not a chance.

AnneLovesGilbert Wed 20-Dec-17 01:38:38

And it’s not your job to find them an alternative! They can get shifts that work around each other or pay for a nanny. But it’s not your problem!!!!!!!

Hiphopopotamus Wed 20-Dec-17 01:39:39

Definitely tell them they need to be paying you.

But a really telling bit of your post was when you said ‘your DH didn’t mind until’. Not that ‘you didn’t mind until’. Why is it his opinion you’re taking on? Do you mind? Surely that’s the important thing. Not when your DH starts to object

squoosh Wed 20-Dec-17 01:40:48

Come on OP. Woman up and tell them to fuck off.

Don't be a doormat.

MissConductUS Wed 20-Dec-17 01:41:16

Others learn to repeat "I am not a doormat".

Betsy86 Wed 20-Dec-17 01:44:26

That is really cheeky of them!!! You sound like a great person but they have totally taken advantage of your kindness and are now taking you for a fool! Do not let them.
I cant believe they dont even offer you some cash and food etc whilsy there. The very least i would do is order you in food and leave plenty of refreshments, aswell as thankyou profusely and buy you wine/chocs etc.
Crazy situation but do not do it anymore next few times they ask tell them you are busy and dont conversate about it. If they dont take the hint tell them straight you wont b doing it anymore and exactly why. Dont feel rude saying it they dont feel rude taking the mick out of you.
Good luck op dont go into 2018 in the same situation use your free time to do nice things with your own family xxx

Cavender Wed 20-Dec-17 01:50:43

Remember Grump arranging new child care for their children is not your responsibility or problem.

LineyRunner Wed 20-Dec-17 01:51:05

Oh come oooooon. Tell them to fuck off. Really.

Hiphopopotamus Wed 20-Dec-17 01:53:23

confused is no one else picking up on the amount of times the OP references what her DH agrees with or is ok with?

Thermowoman Wed 20-Dec-17 01:53:33

You've done this for four years? You're a mug mate.

Grump1 Wed 20-Dec-17 01:53:50

DH Works away a lot. Once their children are asleep I watch catchup tv. When DH is home I try and wriggle out of babysitting but he is home now so it is a resounding NO. I am a bit soft sometimes.

SisterLocation Wed 20-Dec-17 01:53:51

Fuck that, no way, CFery of the highest order!

Grump1 Wed 20-Dec-17 01:59:19

I guess DH pointed out the obvious. But neighbour has always used word babysitting when really it is childminding! Childminding is always paid I think. When I worked in a hospital break time chat was dominated by childminding difficulties for weekend and overnight shifts.

GetOutOfMYGarden Wed 20-Dec-17 02:10:01

Have we reached peak CF at last?

MissConductUS Wed 20-Dec-17 02:13:33

I think there's worse to come.

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 20-Dec-17 02:15:04

"No I cant watch the kids"
"But I have to work and OH cant mind them"
"Oh dear that is difficult, I hope you manage to sort something out"

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 20-Dec-17 02:15:34

Zammo says......

SheGotBetteDavisEyes Wed 20-Dec-17 02:17:09

Have we reached peak CF at last?

You'd have to be going some to beat this.

Twitchingdog Wed 20-Dec-17 02:20:04

Find someone you want to help at weekends and that will pay you and whose kids you enjoy . Daytime babysitting is hard work and should be paid in some way . You should definitely be fed and watered at the very leasted.

lalalalyra Wed 20-Dec-17 02:22:09

Four years?! That's serious Cf-ery!

My neighbour asked me ONCE in an emergency and I got flowers, chocolates and she arranged to have pizzas delivered for me and the kids.

Four years and barely a thank you is beyond rude! That's childminding. For free.

OtterInDisgrace Wed 20-Dec-17 02:34:48

Come on! You know it’s wrong and is taking the piss. Summon the courage to tell them to fuck off with their pisstaking!

I know it seems easy for others to say but they are SO taking the piss.

bigsexywalker2 Wed 20-Dec-17 02:37:44

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